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Deconstruction
Their lives were built on lies
their bliss just a facade
for twenty years plus five
they'd vowed before their God
to live and love and laugh
and build forevermore
they hired a household staff
had friends and wealth galore
but life behind the scenes
was filled with booze and sex
he said "it's in the genes"
she said "it's just complex"
the children shake their heads
now grown and on their own
from the time they were kids
ashamed of what was sown

To deconstruct a vow
is treachery indeed
if they had known what they know now
might it have changed their wicked deeds?
What IfYou try to mold me into whatever you desire
But what if I don't want to be like you?
What if I want to be my own person?
What if I want to make my own choices
And not be spoon-fed like a newborn?
I want to be my own person,
But you take me like batter and try to turn me into what you want
Not what I want to do in life,
What I want to accomplish
You call me weak
You say I'll never survive in the 'real' world 
 
But what if I want to go my own way?
You call me a baby
Just an infant
Who wouldn't last
But I'm ready now, and it's my life
Not yours
You say you're there to guide me
But you're getting in my way
Of living my life
My way
An Elegy to the ObjectRest your grey swans, your winter is over;
Their songs delight the fruitless heath.
Alas! The country wizened drover
Grants his good wife your dying wreath.

And all things bear my homespun sheath
In which you sleep as you depart,
And all I have I did bequeath
To you: the object of my art.

Yet, still your rotting soul does impart
A whisper through the bolted casements in me,
And I for one, must have a cold, cold heart
To beleive you lived for my elegy.
The Scarlet of ValorWere we brought forth to be monsters,
Instruments made for channeling deceit?
Where rancor’s lies and hatred feed us,
And another’s misery is our peace?

Just whose shoulders do we stand for?
On this clever grueling affair?
Or do we go and purge on blindly,
Like fish swimming in air?

If its strength we wish to have proven,
Then far too long it has been done.
Done with ways much too impeccable,
Pushing humanity into the slum.

But a commodity without fulfillment,
Will take those without a price.
What we protect goes on to crumble,
But we’re all deaf to our own cries.

Thus from a pain was borne much more,
Like a rained on se
this world will offer...this world will offer a tie for my trust
but no government can raise life from the dust

so i got to remember the truth that resides
when ile follow my heart instead of the lies

that everyones spewd whether like it or not
who knows wut is best in a place that will rot?

so just smile and think 'wut a fool is that guy'
hes not going to college he'll be shoed as a fly

and tho i may not be on record or known
we'll all be remembered for wut we have sown

not wut we have reaped or wut we may claim
achievements or 'honors' as fame is a game

and 'trusty' employers will say they know why
and demanding u orders to follow, or 'bye'

but i got to ask
Depression's DuelA girl alone, cold and wallowing in the fragments of her soul.
Two beings, Life and Death are locked in mortal combat.
Death strikes first with a furious vengeance.

Death

In her life there is so much strife
Over such trivial matters that mortals fight over
Money, power, looks and lovers
No one cares to give her a fair chance
In death there is a release
Eternal  slumber and peace
The world is cruel, just like the gruel she forces herself to eat in defeat

Life

Yes, in your life there are quarrels
and people choose possessions over you.
But remember your little sister who looks up to you.
Your mother who held you through your child hood.
The
No longer warmMy eyes are warm
My heart is cold
You never know
Your grin grows old

You laugh at me
I’m always wrong
Your great friendship
Didn’t last long

I’m your friend
But you’re not mine
My hug is cold
You’ve crossed the line

I no longer want
To be your friend
Face it now
This has to end
How to Know You're Living Rightif today was your last day,
and tomorrow was too late...

if the devil came and knocked on my door,
said, "You'll be given scant hours more."
I'd pack no bags, just jot a note:
"It's been fun, more than I'd hoped,"
and let it flutter to the floor.

if plans you make for your last day,
things you'd want to try and play;
if special times you wish you would,
you're not living as you should...
it doesn't matter anyway.

when the devil comes and knocks on my head,
"This day is your last," he said;
"Keep the change, let's move on out:
last day's ain't what life's about."
I'll race him to his vessel instead.

could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Something To Believe In...My heart, a field of wildflowers,
Your love can make them bloom.
Fill my head with diamond showers,
And thoughts of golden noons.
Rays of whimsy find your smile,
They dance across your face.
Electric light behind your eyes,
White heat in your embrace.
Smolders linger where you touch,
Refusing to consume.
Tantalizingly preventing
Pleasures known too soon.
Amber soulfire flickers densely
Inside our misted shade.
While heavenly once was our intention,
To desires we abade.
A penny for your thoughts, my dear
Or maybe two, or three,
Surely all the riches I hold
For what you think of me...
Reinhard's CrimeThe blonde man sits serene
In his easy rocking chair
Eyes fixed on a manic, far future.

A collar creaseless and hangman high
Under an adler nose and bright blue eyes
A handsome face o'er a madman's frame.

Swords swing and sing
In a morning full of futures
Each one monstrous and grand.

The screams in Bohemia
Echo around a dead village
That not even maps acknowledge.
ShadeThe bird spreads its wings
Without hesitation
Without reserve it sings

Towards the sun it soars
Casting its own silhouette
So grand and to my eyes it roars

I am only a shadow in the shade
Here I exist and blend so perfectly into the world
Wonders of the man-made

Artificial hearts that save lives
Or do they only prolong suffering
Fear of death like dull knives

So I step into the light
And in the blinding moment
I finally regain my sight
CagedLike a lion behind the bars of a cage
My longing for more fills my heart with rage
This rage build and later I realize
Their is nothing I can do to make it subside
My heart wishes for something more
But my spirits trapped behind a cell door
I don't know who has the key
To open these walls and set me free

My eyes miss the wild
The thrill of the hunt
The wonder of a child
My mind being absent
All the while I sit and I stay
Moments fly by as life slips away

What more can I do to feel that freedom again
What more can I say when I don't understand
Where is it that I am meant to be?
Because I know this caged beast is no longer me
what will come tomorrowA darkness is stirring
Inside of me
I struggle from it
But I cant break free
Horrors are abundantly
I lose all I ever held dear
Fading from this world that grows
As my mind wanders with shadows
Peace is something foreign to me
A life of hardships is what I lead
I never seem to be enough
Who thought love would be so tough

Broken mirrors and picture frames
Somehow it is all I blame
I know that something more is left
Other than a quiet death
A surrender, A return to sender
I've been on a bender
And I cant seem to stop these tears
From ringing every fear I have
Bringing it to light and then
Making them my only friend
Braking what little I love
CaptureSave me from fortune,
Damn me to sin,
Open the black doors
To let evil in.

Bind me in darkness,
Feed on my fears,
Close my blank eyes,
Whisper in my ears.

Hold down my hands,
Assault my skin,
Torment my mind
And let evil in.

Melt my ability to go free,
Ruin my thoughts of all happy,
Whisper acid words in my ears,
Come destroy what I hold dear.

Seduced by your spell,
Come to destroy
This once white canvas,
I am your toy.

Make me crazy,
Drive me insane,
Take away my mind,
No light ever again.
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More from ~A1fie

MermaidsLife ain't easy, that's nothing new
though for some it's more true than for others
This is about me, just to get it through
to all the people, sisters and brothers

People put you in boxes, no matter
how much you like it or what you try to avoid
So it might take you a while until you open up
and when you finally do, they might get paranoid

You see, being transgender isn't easy, you don't fit
on neither side of the sex related weirdness
You aren't allowed in a picture that is "the girls only"
and you get pushed away for not hiding your cuteness

People judge by what they see, not by what they feel
it's so weird and stupid it makes m
Why?
Every day, in and out, I come up with things I want to tell people
I think about them all the way, once or twice or tripple
About what to tell them, how to tell them, all the things
About the choosen words, when to tell them, the timings

You see, I'm no native english speaker, and this might be the reason
Some things don't come along like intended and are considered treason
I often have a hard time to express clearly what I want or mean
And people still think I'm ignoring what they say, trying to be mean

Thought that had never been my intention, but I lose friend after friend
The thing I least wanted ever seems to become a trend
It'
The Girl and the Boythere has been a girl
who had it up to here
she was annoyed with anything
and was drinking too much beer

then there was a boy
whose live was neither easy
and every day he got up well
he ended being dizzy

life had been a bully
to both of them so far
the only thing it spared for them
was an enourmous, visible scar

they never saw each other
and maybe never will
though there is something special
and that is both their skill

the love for art connects them
helps them through their lifes
though the distance cuts them
deepest like some knifes

yet so far they seem so close
making it through their days
and living to give each othe
Free TimeWhat good is my life
if noone ever notice
what I have aranged.

People ignore me
because they think I'm not good.
But they don't know me.

Otherwise they would
turn away even sooner.
Just because I suck.

I am an old jerk
noone really wants to know.
Because of his style.

If there is any....
Speaks things noone likes to hear.
But speaks anyway.

Noone can turn him.
Noone is interested
in the things he says.

Though still people read
and it makes me wonder: Why?
Not enough free time?

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April 13, 2005
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Life is a nice thing

:icona1fie:

Life is a nice thing
Or at least, most of the time
Because now it sucks
:icona1fie:
Currently life is nice. I go out again, meet new nice people, have fun, hang around with some... Though, I know that this isn't lasting, and this is what this Haiku is about. It is for future usage and I know for sure that they'll appear.
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